I am writing this blog to serve 3 purposes:
- Help me process the multitude of emotions and experiences of the shiva week, the shloshim and beyond.
- Share some of the unexpected parts of mourning so others in this position can prepare (where there is warning*) or find comaraderie after the fact in company with others who may have encountered similar experiences.
- Assist clergy and well wishers in their attempts to comfort the bereaved and guide them through the process.
I am not a rabbi or any type of halachic authority, but an educator who is trained to reflect. These writings are in no way binding, and may not represent all approaches to and experiences in navigating grief. In fact, there will likely be those who disagree with me or can offer additional suggestions and reflections. For this reason, I am leaving the comments section open so that together as a community, we can broaden the scope of this blog to include a majority of human experience.
One important request: Please be respectful in posting your comments and be sure to frame your tips in the most positive phrasing possible. I reserve the right to delete any unkind comments and plan to update the original posts occasionally to include additional insights and reflections from our combined experience.
With hope and prayer that these writings will serve as a source of comfort and aid to others, I write in the memory of my beloved father, Maury Fechter (Mordechai Yosef ben Shmuel), a kind, humble and generous soul who dedicated his personal and professional life to alleviating pain wherever possible. May his neshama have an aliyah and may we continue to bring nachas to his memory.
Please look for these clues to assist in navigating to relevant posts. The search feature will also be enabled to identify terms such as ("clergy," "friend," "first days," "tribute" to my father, "reflections," "kaddish," "mourner," etc.):
* tips relating to the first days of mourning, relates to funeral and other surprises.
^ advice for clergy in assisting mourners through their process - non-halachic reminders that would be a great help
~ what friends can do (read also the * so you can advise the mourner)
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I am an educator who is trained to reflect, not a rabbi or any type of halachic authority. These writings are in no way binding, and may not represent all approaches to and experiences in navigating grief. In fact, there will likely be those who disagree with me or can offer additional suggestions and reflections. For this reason, I am leaving the comments section open so that together as a community, we can broaden the scope of this blog to include a majority of human experience.
One important request: Please be respectful in posting your comments and be sure to frame your tips in the most positive phrasing possible. I reserve the right to delete any unkind comments and plan to update the original posts occasionally to include additional insights and reflections from our combined experience.