Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Shopping List for a Shiva House

When my grandfather passed away, my relatives looked at each other and said “make sure we have lots of toilet paper.”  I didn’t understand what they meant until I saw the sheer numbers of people who visited for condolence calls, not to mention relatives and friends who arrived to help out and sleep over…


Here’s a short list of supplies you will likely need right away:
  • Tissues
  • Toilet Paper
  • Press and Seal -- this ziplock product is great for covering mirrors (as well as useful for food storage)
  • Paper goods: cups, plates, bowls, napkins, plastic silverware
  • Garbage Bags
  • Post-Its or Sharpie Marker to label food items (with contents and date)


Additional items to consider:

  • Bottled water, Gatorade, Coffee
  • Sleeping Aids (Melatonin, Tylenol PM or prescription)
  • Ziplock Bags/ Containers for food storage


Ritual items can often be obtained through a synagogue or funeral home. These include a 7 day candle, low chairs for mourners, extra chairs for visitors, siddurim (prayer books), a Torah, etc. You may want to have a Tzedakah Box on hand to receive charitable donations during the minyan. In addition, a notepad to keep track of meals sent in and any money received for messages left for the mourners.


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I am an educator who is trained to reflect, not a rabbi or any type of halachic authority. These writings are in no way binding, and may not represent all approaches to and experiences in navigating grief. In fact, there will likely be those who disagree with me or can offer additional suggestions and reflections. For this reason, I am leaving the comments section open so that together as a community, we can broaden the scope of this blog to include a majority of human experience.

One important request: Please be respectful in posting your comments and be sure to frame your tips in the most positive phrasing possible. I reserve the right to delete any unkind comments and plan to update the original posts occasionally to include additional insights and reflections from our combined experience.

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